The Nicest Compliments

I was having a rough night...was interacting with a rather exhausting group of people (who were kind of hard to get along with), and was just tired in general.

After dinner, a good friend and I saw down to eat fruit and work on some translation. She said thoughtfully, "You know, I think you are the best foreigner I have known...I mean, you know the saying 'When in Rome, do as the Romans'? Well, you really try to love and adapt to China well...I think this touches me a lot. You do this better than the other foreigners I have observed."

Tears came to my eyes a bit. "Thank you." I said. "That means a lot to me. I do love China, and I am trying to adapt...it is hard a lot...I'm always learning."

"And you don't have to adapt to everything." She added. "You know, some things in China you should not adapt to...but I mean, you do a good job of really living out that you want to be here...some people say they do, but seem to dislike everything about China...that really hurts me sometimes."

That was one of the kindest things that someone had said to encourage me that week. Sometimes I have been irritated with how blunt my friends sometimes are...but when it comes to compliments, my close friends always seem to observe and encourage in exactly what way I need, and in such a timely manner (excluding the funny compliments I get about how beautiful my eyes are, or how girls want my legs...after a while those things aren't all that meaningful).

Likewise, I really hope I am able to encourage my local friends in what they need as well...my friend was so touched when I told her "My doing this (favor) for you is not about guanxi (system of "you scratch my back, I scratch yours"), I am doing it because you are like a sister to me and I really want to." Tears came to her eyes and she said, "That means a lot to me."

I'm really thankful for friends like these....