感恩节 (Thanksgiving)

I lead an English Corner, and it truly is a highlight of my week...I really love the people who come, the coffee shop it's hosted at...everything. I try to make it interesting each week, and so for the week of Thanksgiving, I decided to bring them some traditional Thanksgiving food.

I let them try mashed potatoes, stuffing/dressing, and......TURKEY. Yep, ladies and gentleman, I made my first ever Thanksgiving turkey for them to try. Interesting fact, the word for turkey, "火鸡"　translates to "fire chicken". Awesome, eh?

Anyhow, apparently the Thanksgiving food was quite the hit...I had quite a few leftovers that I left with the owner and employees of the coffee shop...and apparently they are still talking about it. Just wait until they see what I have up my sleeves for Christmas....

Going Dutch

Me: I'll pay for dinner.
Male Friend: No, I will. (pays)
Me: Let's go dutch.
Friend: No, not this time. Americans always go dutch?
Me: Most of the time, if you are eating with your friends.
Friend: When is the exception?
Me: If you are dating. Then the boy usually pays.
Friend: Oh. *starts laughing* Uhm...next time you can buy me coffee.

Emails

I love getting emails like this from local friends...seriously, how sweet is this? Got this from a new friend after I hosted a movie night with Mexican dinner at my home.

Receive your e-mail I am glad that I was doing homework at school, I graduate
on Normal, physical education, sports since you have to do what I can find, I'm the expert, huh, huh! Yesterday saw the film in your home, the atmosphere is very good. You are ready to
eat always very attractive, because yesterday I went to eat too much before, so yesterday
did not make the stomach to taste, next time I will have the opportunity to taste. My English is not good, you say, I can understand, but I would not say it organized language, can
only say simple, I hope you understand! The day before yesterday was the first time we
met, you are very beautiful, always very smart, I hope you are in China and our days, more and more beautiful, more happy。
-A.

As a language student, I know how difficult it is to string together an email that makes sense, so I always admire their efforts! Considering we usually use Chinese when we speak, I was impressed with the effort here! :-) Cute.

Snow!

Snow has arrived....this sight greeted me this morning...before the snow gets trampled and black it is a gorgeous sight!

Texans Handle It By Straight Thuggin

It has certainly been an interesting week. If there is one thing that living overseas will force you to grow in, it's patience. But occasionally, I firmly believe, the time for patience expires and you ought to take matters into your own hands.

To give some backstory, for the last eight months or so I have been dealing with a crazy stalker...he's another foreign student, and absolutely off his rocker/unstable. Well, when he sent me a threatening text on Wednesday night, I'd had enough.

I had consulted local friends for the last few months about how to handle it...and I finally decided after talking to some of my most trusted local friends to take the matter into my own hands. Having established that his school also wanted him to leave China (they know he is crazy too) I decided to confront him and attempt to remove his ability to contact me.

One of my local friends had volunteered his services as a threatening-looking guy. He is such a nice guy, but really does look like he belongs in a gang...shaved head, strong build....intimidating guy. "You tell that guy I'm your boyfriend...I'll handle him." I had instructed him not to get physical with the stalker unless he actually got physical first.

Well, I told stalker to meet me at a place because "I have one thing I want to tell you, and then I hope this will be settled once and for all". When he finally showed up, I asked to see his phone. "I want to see that last message you sent me." I said. He agreed and handed me his cell phone. While my friend blocked me (he doesn't speak English all that well, but told stalker "I am her boyfriend. I don't like you. You have problem?" haha) I attempted to remove the back panel of his cell phone to remove the sim card...as it was cold, I was having trouble, so I eventually threw it into a puddle, stomped on it for good measure, then picked it back up and slipped it into my pocket. My friend threw an arm around me and we walked off....crazy stalker followed. We wheeled around. At this point, I had trouble keeping my friend from attacking.

Crazy stalker asked for his phone back.

"No" I said. "But it has ALL my numbers in it." "I don't care....you should have thought about that before you called and texted me a million times after I told you to stop. Now GO AWAY." He started to move towards me, looking angry. I aimed a kick at his crotch, screamed again, and he finally left....a wise decision on his part because my friend was about to lay into him, and we had another couple of friends strategically positioned nearby in case anything went wrong.

Unfortunately, later that evening, we discovered crazy stalker apparently has a second phone with my number in it. Guess I should have pushed him down and robbed his pockets.

I am not advocating assault/robbery, but ladies, when you're dealing with a crazy stalker...I don't believe in showing a lot of courtesy. As evidenced by the screaming I unleashed upon him in 3 languages.

I heard from his university that he is leaving next week...I certainly hope that's true. My Texan side will come out in full force when necessary....

The Nicest Compliments

I was having a rough night...was interacting with a rather exhausting group of people (who were kind of hard to get along with), and was just tired in general.

After dinner, a good friend and I saw down to eat fruit and work on some translation. She said thoughtfully, "You know, I think you are the best foreigner I have known...I mean, you know the saying 'When in Rome, do as the Romans'? Well, you really try to love and adapt to China well...I think this touches me a lot. You do this better than the other foreigners I have observed."

Tears came to my eyes a bit. "Thank you." I said. "That means a lot to me. I do love China, and I am trying to adapt...it is hard a lot...I'm always learning."

"And you don't have to adapt to everything." She added. "You know, some things in China you should not adapt to...but I mean, you do a good job of really living out that you want to be here...some people say they do, but seem to dislike everything about China...that really hurts me sometimes."

That was one of the kindest things that someone had said to encourage me that week. Sometimes I have been irritated with how blunt my friends sometimes are...but when it comes to compliments, my close friends always seem to observe and encourage in exactly what way I need, and in such a timely manner (excluding the funny compliments I get about how beautiful my eyes are, or how girls want my legs...after a while those things aren't all that meaningful).

Likewise, I really hope I am able to encourage my local friends in what they need as well...my friend was so touched when I told her "My doing this (favor) for you is not about guanxi (system of "you scratch my back, I scratch yours"), I am doing it because you are like a sister to me and I really want to." Tears came to her eyes and she said, "That means a lot to me."

I'm really thankful for friends like these....

It's Not All Harmony Here in the Middle Kingdom...

I seldom blog about the uglier side of life here in China…it does exist. Just like anywhere, I diplomatically reply when locals inquire about hardships….truthfully though, being overseas brings hardships of a different sort.

One of the things that can become emotionally draining as a foreigner here is the frequent need to determine someone’s motivation in befriending you. Motives are not always pure. That is to be expected anywhere, but some people are downright nasty about it. Just like anywhere, there are bad and good people...but unfortunately as a foreigner I stick out a bit more as a target for some of those bad people. A lot of times I get so worn out by interacting with those who just want to use me for different things…but it is on those days that I am so grateful for true, loyal friends that I truly am incredibly blessed to have…and especially those people that are protective of me. I am relatively good at handling myself, but it sure helps to have the support of my local friends!

One such friend even stepped outside cultural boundaries last night to defend me….it was an awkward, but appreciated encounter.

One person, who shall remained unnamed, has been visiting my English corner. His motivation in coming was questionable, because his English was perfect...in fact he seemed to think his was better than mine. He was arrogant, interrupted me and the other students constantly, and was just really rude, crude, and condescending. He also wanted me to come over to his apartment to lead an internet discussion (shady). I gave a very Chinese response to this request, that if he
called and I had time, I might (this is a Chinese no).

Well, he did call….and I didn’t answer. Well, he took the opportunity at the next week’s English corner to badger me about it. “I called twice and you didn’t answer…you promised.” “I didn’t promise.” I said. “I said if I had time…and I am very busy.” My friend chimed in, “Yeah, I heard her. She didn’t promise you.”

Guy: “This was a conversation between us two…how is it your business?
Friend: “We are friends. I am her big sister….it is my business.”

This escalated into an argument (conducted in English,
interestingly enough…but both of them have fluent English) in which my big sister basically called him out on all of his obnoxious behavior…she didn’t just cause him to lose face, she took his face off. She listed the ways he had acted rudely, and told him frankly, "I don't like you." While he argued at first, eventually he left, clearly irritated but also embarrassed.

Afterwards we debriefed the situation…she thought she was unnecessarily harsh…but she said she just couldn’t help it. I said I had been too passive. “I am too Chinese, and you are too American in your response.” I laughed.

Definitely awkward moments, but as he was clearly trying to play up his government job/perfect English to badger an “easy foreign girl”, I was pretty thankful to have an aggressive 姐姐。