Basically, it's a time when you may feel burned out on your life in China. Events can trigger or worsen the feeling.
Even on a good day, life in China is at least ten times more complicated for an expat than life in their own home culture is. From the constant staring (if you live outside of a big city like Beijing or Shanghai), stupid comments that you may hear if you can understand Chinese, or just the inconvenience of living in a country that is still less developed than many Western countries...there are many things that can be very tiring about living in China.
PAUSE: I am NOT writing this post to bash China...there are sooooo many things I love about China.....but on a day when you feel overwhelmed or hurt, unfortunately allllll the negative thoughts may come flooding through your brain.
Anyways....I've been having a series of bad China days for the past month...trying very hard to break out of them by appreciating my dear Chinese friends and all the things I love about China...but the truth is, I haven't felt like writing because I've felt so discouraged and just plain tired of being here.
It's been added to by the pressures of starting my new job (which is a pretty good job, just a lot of frustrations with dealing with the administration at the school), and some struggles my fiance and I are having.
It's been really multiplied the past few days because unfortunately while I've been busy with my new job, my dog has also started shedding...there is dog hair everywhere no matter how much we sweep, and now my fiance's family is giving pressure for me to get rid of the dog. To be honest, as much as I appreciate his family, I am SICK of living upstairs from them, and really sick of traditional society to be honest.
(sign at my school)
As an independent Christian American woman, I feel like I have so many things in life that I worry about more than housework, my appearance, or when I will have a baby....but it seems to be all anyone else can talk about.
I do realize that I am overreacting, and that people ask about those things because it's all they know to talk about, and a lot of people are genuinely anxious for us to have a baby (although that will not be influencing my timing AT ALL...we aren't even officially married yet people!).
For those of you who have lived abroad, how do you handle those days when all you want to do is run home?
No comments:
Post a Comment