Children in China

As I sat with my fiancee at lunch, we made eyes at a cute baby at the table across from us.

"I think we're gonna have a daughter as our first child. What about you? What do you want for the first one?"
"Uh, either is ok with me."

"Yeah...I think a girl is good...or no, maybe a boy, then he can protect the girl later."

"Girls are actually more scary and protective sometimes." I pointed out.

This turned to a discussion about his own experience in childhood. He has 2 older sisters (rather uncommon for that generation in China), and his parents had that many kids because they were still trying for a son.

He readily admits that his mom focused on him, not the sisters. This aspect of his upbringing comes up a lot (especially when we are fighting). It's still shocking to me at times the super old-fashioned thought that still comes into play here....it's good that we are on the same page about how unhealthy/stupid/messed up that is.

He doesn't particularly appreciate all the focus being on him anyways at times...it means added pressure simply because he is the son in the family. As a girl, I also pick up on some of the resentment from his sisters (especially one).

Times are changing in China, and the way that people think is slowly changing too, but some things aren't changing quickly enough in my independent American mind....of course, while this doesn't mean that parents don't love their daughters, the male focus brings me much bewilderment....