Tell It Like It Is

Many people are familiar with the supposedly Asian concept of "saving face". The way this plays out is quite interesting. For example, if I ask someone for directions and they don't know where the place that I am asking about is...they may give me random directions rather than just say that they don't know to "save face". It is interesting to note that what differs cross-culturally is not so much the concept itself (we are just as familiar with saving face in America), but rather, what constitutes something that would cause one to lose face.

One way this is noticeable is in the bluntness with which some subjects are addressed in China. In America, we don't talk about someone's weight, the giant zit on their face, etc. In China, it is simply making an observation to say something like, "Oh, you look very tired" "You were fatter in this photo" or "drink more tea for your skin"...or a personal favorite, "Your eyes look like a vampire". It takes some adjusting to not take things personally, and I am amazed when I watch a friend call another friend fat and they won't get horribly offended and burst into tears. I have had a friend's father tell me I was more beautiful than his daughter...right in front of her. I have watched another friend's mother call her fat. And I have seen multiple instances of people publicly comparing people. It definitely takes adjusting to, and it's rather heartbreaking to see that most girls here don't see how beautiful they really are (and the girls here are, in my opinion, gorgeous!). Although at times it's annoying, and wrong, some of the honesty does become sort of endearing...