Life Ain't Always Rosy

Another rough time has come upon us....the only way I can describe this past year is that it feels like you are standing near the ocean and a huge wave crashes down, sweeps you under...you manage to stand again for a moment before another comes down again.

Our relationship has been plagued by doubt, misunderstandings, stresses, and attacks. And one of those things that has been a HUGE added stresser is still my husband's mother.

I am a normally gentle person, but I don't stand for people bullying myself or others, and she has started trying to reassert her power to control us again. Contrary to what you might think, or what she tries to say, this is not a foreigner-Chinese thing....even Chinese friends we have consulted say she is acting insane.

While I always knew living in close proximity to my mother-in-law wouldn't be a great idea, it took a bunch of unfortunate incidents for my husband to also realize this wouldn't work. And yesterday another thing happened. We had been planning to move already, but were hoping to have a bit more time to settle in to married life and me to get back into my work routine before we also added that to the plate.

Yesterday's incident involved her coming upstairs unexpectedly (we didn't know she had a key) and berating me for not coming to see her since we got back from our post-wedding trip to Beijing. I told her calmly that I had been sick, and that we had been taking some time for just the two of us....she blew up, going on and on about all the money she had "given" us, which I again said I would return because it obviously wasn't really a gift, and how we have a duty to the family. She then started listing all of my faults, and said I didn't even give their relatives cake after the wedding (nevermind that it was midnight when the relatives came over, I was exhausted because it was my WEDDING DAY after all, and cake was the last thing on my mind...especially since everyone had said it was sweet and I figured the older Chinese wouldn't eat it.

The conversation ended with my husband coming in (he'd been walking the dog) and throwing her out after saying that she couldn't act like this and we were going to move.
After another round of screaming in my face, I told her that I wasn't planning on seeing her again, which, for now, is the sad truth.

In my already stressed, fragile emotional stress, I need boundaries, and there are some people that suck life and joy from those around them...bitter people that are toxic unless you get away.

Anyways, prayers appreciated because we are so so worn out during what is supposed to be a special newlywed time for us.

Chinese Wedding Morning

 (my bridesmaid and I)

 ("who is it?"

 (my groom giving me flowers)

 (heehee)

 (the hotel A.C. wasn't working so well, haha, sweaty)

Ok, so ignore the fact that I look puffy and exhausted in these photos (two hours of sleep the night before...eeee)....these photos (stolen from my parents camera) show the progression of events when the groom comes to "fetch" the bride on the wedding morning.

We rented a hotel room that served as my "home" for Xiao Long to fetch me from...when the groom and his accompanying friends/family arrive, my bridesmaid refused to let him in, playing all sorts of tricks and jokes like making him sing, do pushups, answer questions, and then give "hong bao" (red envelopes with money inside) before she finally let him in. I really enjoyed that aspect of the Chinese wedding...more to follow!