And now I present: Things I am sad that I have found it necessary to say when planning a wedding in China.
-Please don't play Whitney Houston/Titanic soundtrack/Star Wars theme music
-Please don't play the above so loudly that no wedding guests can talk
-Please do not hire any performers to lip sync, dance poorly, or fake play an instrument
-Please do not blow bubbles and confetti on me when I walk down the aisle
-Please do not allow the MC to wear a bad 70s suit or talk like a radio announcer
-Please do not allow anyone to wish me the birth of a son soon
-Please have microphones ready for our vows since the majority of people will probably talk through them
So, one week to go and I hope it turns out semi-classy. haha. Because in my experience, I have yet to attend a Chinese wedding that wasn't like being in a bad disco club. haha
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Chinese Pre-Wedding Pics
Wedding photos in China are a big deal....in that they are an all-day, multiple outfit affair.
We got ours done at one of the higher end photo studios, and it was fun, but exhausting. The results we are pretty pleased with, although we did ask them to tone down some of the major cheese that sometimes is the Chinese preferred style. Plus I liked my makeup artist/hair stylist and will use her for my wedding day, yay!
The one I chose as a wallet print (because I like the sillier side of life, haha). My hubby hates this picture actually, but I think it's fun!
(This is the one we chose for the giant framed picture they give us, haha)
(one from our outdoor shoot in the park)
Anyways, along with the glamorous experience, haha, we also got a BUNCH of stuff...photo books, canvas prints, prints on glass, and even a crystal cube with our pictures in it..haha)
So, while some of the pics were decidedly different than American photography styles, it was fun and we are happy to have these shots!
Crazy Life
Sorry for the lack of posting recently...I promise to try to do better. Things have been so crazy...with Chinese family drama, wedding preparation, a trip to Beijing, a modeling job, more drama, and some randomness in between.
Anyhow, we got our engagement photos that we took in the States...many thanks to the wonderfully talented Lynn Purkiss for the gift of her beautiful photos! We are so looking forward to having her and her husband come to China for our wedding! You can see her work our under the name "Capture the Moment Photography".
Here is a look at some of them:
Anyhow, we got our engagement photos that we took in the States...many thanks to the wonderfully talented Lynn Purkiss for the gift of her beautiful photos! We are so looking forward to having her and her husband come to China for our wedding! You can see her work our under the name "Capture the Moment Photography".
Here is a look at some of them:
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Wedding To-Dos
Well, wedding planning in China is not actually as involved as it can be in the States...after all, people tend to do the same thing...find a hotel, hire a wedding company, get some photos and clothes, show up and party with your guests.
For us, it's been a bit more complicated, because we hate the way wedding companies typically do things in China...so we have been seeking to do our own style Chinese-American, Christian wedding (also not that common here).
First, we wanted to find a place that wasn't the typical hideous banquet room with pillars idiotically placed throughout the room so that views of the proceedings are BLOCKED (I swear, 99% of rooms we looked at were like that).
It turns out, after desperately praying on the way home from yet another frustrating outing trying to secure a place, we stopped on a whim at a resort building shaped like a Mongolian yurt. I was skeptical, because, first of all, we aren't Mongolian, and the outside looked a bit cheesy. To our shock, the inside of the room was unique and very well designed. The sales rep told us it had been designed after a theater. Not too big, not too small..ideal really. AND right outside the door? The park with a great place to do the outdoor wedding vows part we had imagined. They had done it before too (outdoor weddings are almost unheard of here in Hohhot due to unpredictable weather and lack of suitable venues).
It's a tad bit expensive, but we are in the process of bargaining down (and whoring ourselves out as a Chinese-American international wedding that will bring their resort good publicity). Whew, huge relief.
Next up?
1) Arranging the details of the wedding...performers, who will do our vows, how to honor God through our proceedings and meld some Chinese traditions I love with American ones I treasure.
2) Wedding clothes. At Chinese weddings, the bride usually wears TWO dresses nowadays....a white one to greet guests (white Western-style), and a red one (Chinese tradition) to toast with guests in. So yes, I must find TWO perfect dresses....considering I will be wearing each for short periods of time, I don't want to pay much...but unfortunately many of the options here remind me of bad 80s prom dresses. Or Little Bo Peep.
3)Take the pre-wedding portraits. This usually entails dressing in really strange clothing, posing in really cheesy ways, and getting photos printed with random Chinglish or Korean characters on them. We did book some portraits, but asked to do most of ours outside, and without all the cheesy details. It should be interesting...they also gave us a slight discount because they had never photographed a foreigner/Chinese couple.
4) Figure out if we can afford a honeymoon at the time we have vacation this summer, and where is a place my husband can easily get a visa to (as an American, I can travel to most places easily...he, as a Chinese citizen, doesn't have the same luxury...so annoying).
5) Arrange things for all our foreigner guests! (that will be the fun part of planning)
All that to say, any ideas and suggestions welcome!
For us, it's been a bit more complicated, because we hate the way wedding companies typically do things in China...so we have been seeking to do our own style Chinese-American, Christian wedding (also not that common here).
First, we wanted to find a place that wasn't the typical hideous banquet room with pillars idiotically placed throughout the room so that views of the proceedings are BLOCKED (I swear, 99% of rooms we looked at were like that).
It turns out, after desperately praying on the way home from yet another frustrating outing trying to secure a place, we stopped on a whim at a resort building shaped like a Mongolian yurt. I was skeptical, because, first of all, we aren't Mongolian, and the outside looked a bit cheesy. To our shock, the inside of the room was unique and very well designed. The sales rep told us it had been designed after a theater. Not too big, not too small..ideal really. AND right outside the door? The park with a great place to do the outdoor wedding vows part we had imagined. They had done it before too (outdoor weddings are almost unheard of here in Hohhot due to unpredictable weather and lack of suitable venues).
It's a tad bit expensive, but we are in the process of bargaining down (and whoring ourselves out as a Chinese-American international wedding that will bring their resort good publicity). Whew, huge relief.
Next up?
1) Arranging the details of the wedding...performers, who will do our vows, how to honor God through our proceedings and meld some Chinese traditions I love with American ones I treasure.
2) Wedding clothes. At Chinese weddings, the bride usually wears TWO dresses nowadays....a white one to greet guests (white Western-style), and a red one (Chinese tradition) to toast with guests in. So yes, I must find TWO perfect dresses....considering I will be wearing each for short periods of time, I don't want to pay much...but unfortunately many of the options here remind me of bad 80s prom dresses. Or Little Bo Peep.
3)Take the pre-wedding portraits. This usually entails dressing in really strange clothing, posing in really cheesy ways, and getting photos printed with random Chinglish or Korean characters on them. We did book some portraits, but asked to do most of ours outside, and without all the cheesy details. It should be interesting...they also gave us a slight discount because they had never photographed a foreigner/Chinese couple.
4) Figure out if we can afford a honeymoon at the time we have vacation this summer, and where is a place my husband can easily get a visa to (as an American, I can travel to most places easily...he, as a Chinese citizen, doesn't have the same luxury...so annoying).
5) Arrange things for all our foreigner guests! (that will be the fun part of planning)
All that to say, any ideas and suggestions welcome!
Monday, April 15, 2013
Married!
Well, after the last few slightly negative posts, I do have some happy news to share....we finally got our marriage certificate (结婚证) , which means we are now legally married!
We have been able to work a lot of things out, and after realizing I was suffering from a rather intense bout with depression, acknowledging, asking for help, and lots of prayer is helping me work through it...while getting the marriage certificate was a lot more mafan (trouble) than we expected and we had to deal with a minor incident involving corruption in the government office we needed to work with, everything worked out and we are happy to be officially married...now we are focusing on the rather last-minute planning of our celebration this summer!
We have been able to work a lot of things out, and after realizing I was suffering from a rather intense bout with depression, acknowledging, asking for help, and lots of prayer is helping me work through it...while getting the marriage certificate was a lot more mafan (trouble) than we expected and we had to deal with a minor incident involving corruption in the government office we needed to work with, everything worked out and we are happy to be officially married...now we are focusing on the rather last-minute planning of our celebration this summer!
(here it is! 9 yuan to get both our copies..haha)
The day after we got it, people started referring to my "husband" and he first introduced me to someone as his "妻子“ (wife). The whole thing has been confusing for all the foreigners who know us, who are unsure as to whether we are married now or will be married in July. The best answer? We are married now, and July is just the Chinese way of celebrating.
This whole getting married in China thing is waaaay different all around, through the whole process, than anything I expected when I was younger and thought of what my wedding would be like. But then, I never expected to meet a Chinese husband and live in China...never in a million years did I think that would happen actually....it wasn't on my radar. But I do love the fact that God always takes me to the most unexpected places, and while it has been far more challenging than I would have expected, I also consider myself unusually blessed.
So, while I will wear the pretty dresses and tell our story in front of family and friends in a couple of months, I'm grateful to be legally tied to the person I've already committed before God to. As my hubby happily mused today, "Our God is really amazing...to put us two out of the whole world together."
I'm thankful.
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Crazy M-I-L
Well, while I thought things had settled into a relatively good, if slightly annoying, relationship with my mother-in-law, things took a turn when she basically went off the deep end last night and sent me a couple of reallllllly mean text messages. All because my fiance and I are trying to figure out what to do about the dog (and yes, arguing about it).
She said a LOT of things, among them were that I was bullying her son by having a dog, and that it wasn't clean, and that I didn't clean the house enough (we clean like every day), and that I don't use my my time well every day (never mind that I have a job and relationships that I try to invest in, or that I just bought her son a motorbike with my salary so that he could go find a job more conveniently). And that, by Chinese standards, I was bad.
She uses the fact that we're both Christians as an excuse to say things "because it's because she cares" when in fact it's none of her business. In fact, she just wants things to be her way. In my opinion, it's because she doesn't have a job, or even a hobby, and all that's left for her to do is sit around and worry about everything.
Anyways, prayer and advice appreciated. I basically gave my fiance an ultimatum last night, which is, if he wants the relationship to work, we need to sell this house that is right upstairs from her and move somewhere else. ....
She said a LOT of things, among them were that I was bullying her son by having a dog, and that it wasn't clean, and that I didn't clean the house enough (we clean like every day), and that I don't use my my time well every day (never mind that I have a job and relationships that I try to invest in, or that I just bought her son a motorbike with my salary so that he could go find a job more conveniently). And that, by Chinese standards, I was bad.
She uses the fact that we're both Christians as an excuse to say things "because it's because she cares" when in fact it's none of her business. In fact, she just wants things to be her way. In my opinion, it's because she doesn't have a job, or even a hobby, and all that's left for her to do is sit around and worry about everything.
Anyways, prayer and advice appreciated. I basically gave my fiance an ultimatum last night, which is, if he wants the relationship to work, we need to sell this house that is right upstairs from her and move somewhere else. ....
Rough Times
As anyone who spends time as an expat in China for a long period of time will probably confess, there are "bad China days". Now, probably only my fellow long-term expats will be able to relate with precision to what I'm talking about, but I'll try my best to explain it for everyone.
Basically, it's a time when you may feel burned out on your life in China. Events can trigger or worsen the feeling.
Even on a good day, life in China is at least ten times more complicated for an expat than life in their own home culture is. From the constant staring (if you live outside of a big city like Beijing or Shanghai), stupid comments that you may hear if you can understand Chinese, or just the inconvenience of living in a country that is still less developed than many Western countries...there are many things that can be very tiring about living in China.
PAUSE: I am NOT writing this post to bash China...there are sooooo many things I love about China.....but on a day when you feel overwhelmed or hurt, unfortunately allllll the negative thoughts may come flooding through your brain.
Anyways....I've been having a series of bad China days for the past month...trying very hard to break out of them by appreciating my dear Chinese friends and all the things I love about China...but the truth is, I haven't felt like writing because I've felt so discouraged and just plain tired of being here.
It's been added to by the pressures of starting my new job (which is a pretty good job, just a lot of frustrations with dealing with the administration at the school), and some struggles my fiance and I are having.
It's been really multiplied the past few days because unfortunately while I've been busy with my new job, my dog has also started shedding...there is dog hair everywhere no matter how much we sweep, and now my fiance's family is giving pressure for me to get rid of the dog. To be honest, as much as I appreciate his family, I am SICK of living upstairs from them, and really sick of traditional society to be honest.
As an independent Christian American woman, I feel like I have so many things in life that I worry about more than housework, my appearance, or when I will have a baby....but it seems to be all anyone else can talk about.
I do realize that I am overreacting, and that people ask about those things because it's all they know to talk about, and a lot of people are genuinely anxious for us to have a baby (although that will not be influencing my timing AT ALL...we aren't even officially married yet people!).
For those of you who have lived abroad, how do you handle those days when all you want to do is run home?
Basically, it's a time when you may feel burned out on your life in China. Events can trigger or worsen the feeling.
Even on a good day, life in China is at least ten times more complicated for an expat than life in their own home culture is. From the constant staring (if you live outside of a big city like Beijing or Shanghai), stupid comments that you may hear if you can understand Chinese, or just the inconvenience of living in a country that is still less developed than many Western countries...there are many things that can be very tiring about living in China.
PAUSE: I am NOT writing this post to bash China...there are sooooo many things I love about China.....but on a day when you feel overwhelmed or hurt, unfortunately allllll the negative thoughts may come flooding through your brain.
Anyways....I've been having a series of bad China days for the past month...trying very hard to break out of them by appreciating my dear Chinese friends and all the things I love about China...but the truth is, I haven't felt like writing because I've felt so discouraged and just plain tired of being here.
It's been added to by the pressures of starting my new job (which is a pretty good job, just a lot of frustrations with dealing with the administration at the school), and some struggles my fiance and I are having.
It's been really multiplied the past few days because unfortunately while I've been busy with my new job, my dog has also started shedding...there is dog hair everywhere no matter how much we sweep, and now my fiance's family is giving pressure for me to get rid of the dog. To be honest, as much as I appreciate his family, I am SICK of living upstairs from them, and really sick of traditional society to be honest.
(sign at my school)
As an independent Christian American woman, I feel like I have so many things in life that I worry about more than housework, my appearance, or when I will have a baby....but it seems to be all anyone else can talk about.
I do realize that I am overreacting, and that people ask about those things because it's all they know to talk about, and a lot of people are genuinely anxious for us to have a baby (although that will not be influencing my timing AT ALL...we aren't even officially married yet people!).
For those of you who have lived abroad, how do you handle those days when all you want to do is run home?
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